Zuko's One Sentence Reviews 
The Quick Pick Guide  - The Movie's Either Good or Bad!
Oh . . . I almost never agree with the so-called "Critics". . . 
every film doesn't need to have a "deep" philosophical meaning or poignant social implication . . . 
I look for pure entertainment value! 


back to Movies Directory
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Apocalypse Now Redux
One of my long time favorites, this expanded version of Coppola's classic Vietnam war odyssey rounds out the story a bit  better as it follows a Military Intelligence captain deep into the Cambodian jungle on an N.S.A. mission to "terminate the command" of an rogue Special Forces colonel.  (45 minutes of previously unknown scenes, dramatically re-edited soundtrack, and a re-mastered print make this a must see.)
Black Hawk Down
Harrowing war drama recreates the true-life events of October 3, 1993, when a group of U.S. Army Rangers set off on a mission to capture a Somali warlord ... and spent the next 17 hours in one of the fiercest firefights in military history.
Blow
The rise and fall of George Jung, an enterprising young American who made over $100 million importing massive amounts of cocaine into the country during the early '70s . . . fact-based story and recounted from George's prison cell.
Crossroads
Lightweight and predictable, heavy on commercialization, void of quality acting, bubble gum diva Britney Spears and friends reunite on a cross country road trip to a record company audition.
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
An action filled, romantic martial arts adventure of epic proportions, with a complex plot and colorful tale of the mysterious and mythological powers of an ancient Chinese sword stolen from it's master.  (Now, if you're an "Artsy Fartsy Snob" you'll watch the entire film in it's original Chinese language . . . if you really want to understand the movie however, you should watch it with the English translated sound track.)
Enemy At The Gate
Dark, ominous and brutal, war epic about Russian sniper playing cat-and-mouse with a feared Nazi marksman during the devastating 1942 siege of Stalingrad . . . gritty and with so much intensity . . . you just can't look away.
Jurassic Park III
One of the better of the trilogy, awesomely better special effects and on top of that, it's not so much a "people-happy-meal" kind of flick as J.P. 2 was.  
Legally Blond
Actually a much better movie than I had anticipated, this is a frothy comedy about a young, fair-haired and "stereo-typed" woman who, after being dumped by her snobbish Harvard-bound boyfriend, enrolls in law school alongside him to try to win him back, and . . . proceeds to prove her potential to all around her.
Pearl Harbor
One of the best movies of the decade, recounting the 1941 Japanese surprise attack on Peal Harbor . . . with a successful mix of action, adventure, drama, romance, history and heartache.  (Critics didn't think much of it though, go figure.)
Planet of the Apes
Critics didn't like it much but the 2001 "re-interpretation" of Planet of the Apes is a classic "Tim Burton" film . . . kind of "dark" and at the same time rich in characterization and story, making for a very entertaining, well done movie. 
Proof of Life
Title makes it sound like a "Chick Flick" but it's not . . . this film has super intrigue and lots of tough, lethal action with Russell Crowe and Meg Ryan  
Return to Never Land
The animated sequel to Peter Pan, with Peter and the Lost Boys out to rescue Wendy's daughter, kidnapped by Hook and taken to Never Land as bait to capture Tinkerbell. .
Roller Ball
This one should be called "Morons on Wheels," the original Roller Ball flick sucked, but they've really topped the "suckiness" with the remake, this is a complete waste of time.
Scary Movie
Yes, the plot is over worked by dozens of "B" grade movies, but this "slasher" spoof follows group of silly teens as they're hacked up by a masked maniac . . . but it is funny as hell.
Scary Movie II
I couldn't get enough of the first movie and this zany, lurid sequel continues the murderous "spoofery" of several popular horror films, this time focusing on the satanic-thriller and ghost-story subgenres.
Shrek
I love this outrageous, mega-popular computer-animated fairy tale about a cranky ogre (Mike Myers) who, while trying to clear his swampy abode of pesky fairies and unicorns, rescues a princess (Cameron Diaz) and befriends a precocious donkey (Eddie Murphy).
The Queen of the Damned
Erotically charged (so don't take the kids) horror thriller based on an adaptation of Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles, follows the budding relationship between the vampire Lestat (turned-rock star) and a destructive and seductive bloodsucker from Ancient Egypt played by Aaliyah.
The 13th Warrior
Adaptation of an obscure work by Michael Crichton "Eaters of the Dead," that chronicles the adventures of an exiled Arab ambassador conscripted to fight alongside Viking warriors to track down and destroy strange and mysterious creatures.  (The book is far more intriging as always.)